Aftermath
by yoongis
Summary: The fourth shinobi war drew to a close as the reign of Madara fell, and victory was celebrated among the survivors. Winning was what they wanted, but the victory of war didn't always bring happy endings. Sakura is the proof of that.


It had been years since the Fourth Shinobi War. Three…? Four…?

There was no use in remembering. Her days spent heavily drinking on the anniversary of their dubious victory blurred out to every month, every week, every day. Her moaning and groaning liver was proof of that. She didn't drink to commemorate the hard work they put into their victory, of the insurmountable relief that beset the aching soldiers. She drank to forget.

But those long, torturous months from pre-devastation to post would never leave her mind. It was on loop, an infinite roll of a super 8 clip playing over and over again. She remembers every detail, every scratch, every scream. She wanted to forget, oh how she wanted to live in ignorant bliss.

This triumph should have been the one that defined the future. It was supposed to shape the world, teach it that bad things like this should never happen again. It was supposed to bring forth that rainbow at the end of the hurricane, but all it brought was misery.

Sakura shifted as she stood, unused to her uneven stance, though it has been a few years since she's had her prosthetic created.

"It's made specifically for you!" The Prosthesis chirped. "Carefully crafted and made to fit your body! It'll be like your leg was never blown off!"

Not his exact words, but Sakura knew how to fill in the blanks.

She straightened herself and continued to hobble down the dirt road, avoiding the eyes that beamed with spotlights that projected pity. Miserable, contrived, pity that never lifted, even with the solace of time. Wasn't that supposed to make everything better? Sakura could only scoff, because she was the proof that time is shit, and happy endings did not exist.

She walked down the same worn out path every damned day, and yet the citizens still kept their eyes glued to her limping figure until she turned the corner and was out of sight. She should be used to it, but it was as if each day made her more impossibly sullen, as if the rumbling, coiling cloud of disdain inside her wasn't about to burst.

The fact that she was so resentful could only multiply her contempt of her own village, because believe it or not she was the one who got off easy. She had no right to be grieving for others. She should be blessed, but the very word made her want to gag. Blessed? Her? A one-legged, half deaf failure? Right, right.

She made her way down the stifling alley, finally turning to her point of destination. She pushed aside the curtain and stepped inside, a deep chuckle greeting her as she kept her eyes on the counter.

"My, my. It's my devoted customer here to keep me in business!" The old man snorted as he had a laugh to himself. Sakura kept her eye trained to his lips.

"Here for the usual, my dear? Or would you like to try something a bit stronger? We've just got a new shipment in from Getsugakure! Quite potent but still sweet! I myself haven't had a sip of it yet but—"

Sakura slapped down the usual payment onto the counter, decisively done with his attempt at pleasantries.

"Ah, yes yes. The usual, then! Coming right up!" He ducked down to retrieve a sealed bottle of peach sake, carefully placing it into an opaque bag as he calculated her payment. Before he could hand Sakura her change, she snatched the bag and waddled out of the Liqueur Store, ducking down to avoid the curtain once again as she did every day. The old man sighed as he pocketed the money she left him.

The presence of her vice eased her grated nerves as she followed down her usual path, turning corners and dodging civillians and shinobi alike until she reached the Memorial Stone. It was so big, and yet they still had to add another one to accommodate the other half of those who died during the war. Sakura wanted to bend down and kiss the names of her fallen, but her fake leg wouldn't let her. It hurt too much to bear weight, so the most she did was smile down at them. Her eyes slid past those she didn't know, landing on the first name she always singled out before anyone else's. Tsunade's. Sakura's eyes roved down the slab of stone until Hatake, Kakashi was read. Kiba. Sai. Chouji. Shizune. Hinata.

There was always so many recognizable names, she swore everyday she'd find a new name to grieve about. She clenched her eyes shut as a name flashed in the back of her eyelids.

Sasuke's name should be up here as well, along with everyone else's, but they didn't put his because he was a criminal who died from execution. The village's 'consecutive' decision in killing him off as soon as they claimed victory repulsed her. They knew that their order would overrule in the court, because everyone who could have fought for his safe return was either dead or in the hospital dying.

Sakura's hands shook as she broke the plastic seal that covered her Sake bottle, unscrewing the cap and taking a generous swig of the lukewarm liquid. It stung as it traveled down her throat, resting in the pit of her stomach. It was welcomed pain, the kind that was supposed to distract her from the emotional anguish she's burdened since she was twelve.

They never had a chance for closure. Her and Sasuke will always end on the tip of his kunai against her throat. She doesn't know what could have been, what should have, and fervently forbids herself from wandering into the what ifs.

She doesn't remember walking or finishing her bottle, but disappointment curled in her lips as she lifted the empty container and was greeted with mere drops. She tossed it away, pleasantly warm from the alcohol, but still aware. She sauntered as smoothly as she could down the street, already knowing where her body was taking her.

With a halfhearted hello, Sakura waved to receptionist manning the front desk, who bustled out a quick "Welcome back, Haruno-san!" before returning to the phone.

She missed working at the hospital so much.

Retiring at her age was pitiful.

Slipping into an elevator, she quickly pressed her floor number and leaned against the cold metal wall, sliding her eyes shut as she heaved a sigh through her nose. The bright lights and sting of antiseptic in her nose was killing her buzz, but she fought to keep it before she returned home to delve into another bottle.

As she reached her floor, Sakura walked to the glass encased desk, signing her name onto the visitor's list. Her name was six entries above, yesterday's date printed beside her signature. The nurse robotically buzzed her into the locked ward, and she shoved the door open and went straight to the activity room. She dodged the idle wheelchairs and cooing visitors with ease until she walked to the very far corner, the back of the resident facing her as she closed the distance between them.

"Naruto," she mumbled softly, for she never forget how to say his name. She took his stiff head between her hands and kissed the top of his head.

She wanted to kneel down so he could look at her in the eyes, but her damned leg. Instead, she took a chair from a close by table and sat herself down beside him, taking his contractured arm and interlacing her fingers with his stiff ones.

"How are you? Are they treating you right? Tell me if they aren't, okay? You'd tell me if they aren't treating you like the prince that you are, right? Because if they ever hurt you I'll kill them," She sighed cheerily as she settled in her seat. It was hard for her to speak sometimes. She wasn't sure if she was sounding out words properly anymore, and the only way to be sure is if she shouted.

"It's spring again. New life, new leaves. The flowers are blooming and it's wonderful. They're so beautiful," She nodded as she looked to him. The slight hope that his memorable grin would be greeting her diminished as he sat there, frozen in his wheelchair, his eyes downcast as his fingers curled into a fist.

"Being catatonic isn't that bad. You get your diapers changed for you, don't you?" She giggled as she ran her thumb across the back of his hand.

"I wish you'd wake up. I miss you. I'm so lonely, god Naruto, I'm so lonely. You're all gone, everyone is gone. I need someone to talk to. I need you. I miss Sasuke so much. I should have saved him. I should have been there when they took him away. I miss him so goddamned much, and I never got to say sorry. I miss Tsunade. I miss Kakashi. Why couldn't I die too? Why couldn't I have been three feet closer to that bomb? I wouldn't be in this fucking mess. I'd be in heaven too, with everyone else. You know the reason why I haven't killed myself yet? It's because of you. I'm waiting for you Naruto. Please wake up, come back to me, I need you. I don't have anyone else, please. Please!"

She was standing now, her hands on his shoulders as she viciously shook him.

"Fucking wake up! Wake up, Naruto! Wake up! Wake up!"

The security guards took her arms, lifting her from Naruto's way as she kicked and screamed.

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"


End file.
